by Nikki T.
Michigan State University
In college, guys are either failing miserably at the bar throwing out cliché pick-up lines to every girl that walks past, or they’re too afraid to approach a girl that they’re genuinely interested in. There’s also that middle ground that many women would deem “stalker-ish” where guys retreat to social media to like or comment on some random selfie you posted from sixty-seven weeks ago with the hashtag #hitmeup *insert winky face*. Could you not?
But, I will give credit where credit is due. There are guys out there who take the time to really consider how to approach women and to those who have enough patience and skill to execute this properly, well done. I hope that you have benefited from your efforts. For those of you who could use the advantage of reading a woman’s perspective on the matter, listen up.
The secret that every man should know about women, is that there is no secret to pleasing us. We want what you want. Now, don’t take this to the most extreme cases and assume that just because you want to hook-up and get high that that’s all we are going to want at that same moment too. Even though I’m sure there’s quite a few of us gals who wouldn’t be opposed to the idea. What I mean here is, we like sex, we like intriguing conversation, we want to tease and be teased, we want confidence but submissiveness, we want a challenge but not a competition, we love to have fun and let loose, and we enjoy simple relationships and friendships just as much as serious ones. The only thing that you actually have to do is read, and then approach. For example, if there’s a group of ladies shakin’ it on the dance floor at the bar you and your buddies are at, chances are that they are out having a “girls’ night” and don’t want you wandering up behind them nonchalantly grinding your junk across their asses. If you want to make a meaningful appearance in their tight circle, make a visit to the DJ booth and request the most popular Taylor Swift song you can think of, and then join in their celebration when it comes over the speakers. They’re just out together to have a good time, and now you are too. Another scenario: there’s a girl standing at the bar with her friends waiting for her drink, and you want to make a move. Take note of what she’s drinking or what she orders. If it’s a mixed drink or a shot, she’s here to have a good time. If it’s beer or wine, she’s probably trying to unwind. Wander up to her and relate to whatever option that might be. Reading a woman’s mood is the most beneficial tactic you can use, and it’s likely to make whatever mood she is in better.
Once you’ve picked up the vibes she’s putting down, it’s all about connecting with her. Ladies, I might be sharing too much information here but let’s be honest, we like when men tell us what we want to hear. So, when you’ve finally gotten our attention, don’t waste it. Use that ego a little bit and sweet talk us. Don’t overdo it with the “your eyes are just so beautiful, I could look into them all day” comments (gag), but don’t be afraid to share a subtle compliment or tease us about something funny we might have said. Making a woman laugh is the ticket to keeping her attention. And once you’ve gotten her attention and connected with her, it’s pretty easy to dictate what comes next. If you can feel her interest in you and she seems eager to keep talking with you, ask to see her again. If she’s being extremely flirty back with you and is even showing you physical attention (I mean a hand on the arm, G-rated contact) ask for her number and to meet up soon. If you really won her over it’s likely that she’ll even be the one to drop hints about you getting her number or looking her up on Facebook or Twitter.
The point here is, there is no deep, dark secret to uncovering how to score with the ladies. Just put in a little effort. Because when you do, chances are that you’ll get out what you put in. Women are not much different than men. We have the same urges, same desires, the same needs. The only difference is often times women just want men to earn it. And when guys do learn to put in the right amount of effort and earn whatever it is that they’re looking for, it’s always worth it.